


Wedding Jitters

by FlagofHeaven



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Destiel - Freeform, Feelings, Fluff, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-22
Updated: 2015-08-22
Packaged: 2018-04-16 13:20:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4626744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlagofHeaven/pseuds/FlagofHeaven
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the eve of their wedding, Castiel is having trouble describing his feelings for Dean. So he uses his celestial powers to show Dean just how much the hunter means to him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wedding Jitters

“Yeah, Charlie, great,” Sam said into the phone, taking a sip of coffee. “We’re driving down in the morning. We thought about stopping at the cemetery first, and then heading over to the restaurant.”

“And grabbing a few shots in between,” Charlie’s voice added.

Sam smiled at that. “Yeah, probably. But you know, I think Dean just wants that moment of closure before the wedding.”

“Sounds about right. How are you doing with all this?”

Sam considered. How was he doing? This was no ordinary wedding, but then, nothing with the Winchesters ever was. He was happy for Dean, a little sad that their parents would not be there, or Bobby, or, well, much of their family. The whole thing had happened so quickly and Sam was still wrapping his head around the fact that Dean was actually tying the knot. Of the two of them he had managed to find his other half in a way that Sam just hadn’t. 

“Sam?” Charlie’s voice sounded concerned. 

“I’m ok,” Sam replied finally. “They got engaged, what, two weeks ago and the rest just kind of fell into place really fast. I guess I feel like it should have taken more planning, but it’s Dean and Cas, they don’t really want anything complicated.”

“Please, a wedding without the boring ceremony plus an open bar, sign me up! I am a little sad there won’t be bridesmaids to hit on, but what’s a girl to do?”

Sam laughed. “Yeah, sorry about that. Maybe after the new couple head off on   
their honeymoon, you and I can go find some girls.”

“Deal.”

“See ya tomorrow.”

Sam put his phone back in his pocket and smiled. Tomorrow. His brother was getting married tomorrow night. Well, ‘married’ in the official “put a ring on it” sense, Castiel and Dean had been a couple long enough and friends even longer. It was about damn time in Sam’s opinion. Dean had a very clear idea of what this wedding should look like, and since Castiel had no strong thoughts on the matter other than to support Dean’s ideas, it had taken very little time to plan.

All their friends (well, the living ones, anyway, Sam thought sadly) were meeting them at a restaurant in Lawrence. While Sam had no real memories of their childhood house, Dean still thought of it as their hometown. The restaurant had a private room, served pie (a “requirement” according to Dean), and was the perfect spot for the small celebration. 

Castiel would meet them in Lawrence. Sam was pretty sure that Hannah and maybe a few other angels would join them. How weird our lives are, Sam mused, that Hannah, an angel who once asked Cas to kill Dean, made the guest list. As frenemies went, angels weren’t the worst option. 

Dinner, drinks, music (Sam had tried, with no luck, to add variety to the playlist beyond 1970s rock music), and some short toasts and speeches. Dean and Castiel were each writing “vows” -- although Sam couldn’t really imagine either of them having much luck with this part, they had probably spent more time staring at each other or silently communicating than actually using words. It was comical to think of what they might possibly say.

Sam and Charlie on the other hand, had organized a comic roast of Dean and Castiel -- their idiosyncrasies, hilarious miscommunications, Dean’s big-brother complex and Castiel’s comical misunderstandings of humanity. 

A perfect hunter-family wedding for a perfect hunter-family couple. 

Sam reached for his coffee mug but paused as he heard a familiar rustling of wings. 

“Hello Sam,” greeted Castiel. His tie was loosened and the top buttons of his shirt undone. He coat looked a little wrinkled and his hair stuck up in all directions, as though he had run his hands through it many times. (Or Dean did, said a voice in his head, and Sam quickly banished that unwanted image from his head). 

“Hey Cas,” Sam said. “Are you ok?”

Castiel shook his head. “No, I am very much not ok.” He brandished a pad of paper and pen, throwing them down on the table with more force than was probably necessary.

“I am supposed to be writing something to say to Dean. But I cannot.”

Sam did not let himself smile. But he was right -- Castiel or Dean trying to talk about their feelings, especially when they knew they’d be saying these things in front of an audience, was a recipe for disaster. 

“There are a lot of words. A lot of feelings. Thoughts.” Castiel seemed to speaking as words came to him, barely bothering to make a coherent sentence. “But none of them work on paper. And Dean is uncomfortable with certain displays of affection in public, I have noticed for years that he often chooses to dismiss emotional conversations with sarcasm or mockery.”

Now Sam did smile. “Yeah, that’s true. But not with you,” he added.

“What do you mean?”

“Cas, you and I are the only ones Dean will talk to about his feelings or what he’s thinking. And sometimes he tells you things that he doesn’t even want to talk to me about. You’re something else, Cas. You’re special.”

Castiel nodded, absorbing this information.

“So, what have you written?” Sam asked. 

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?” Sam reached for the pad of paper, and sure enough, it was completely blank, except for the word “Dean” at the top. 

“Will you help me?” Castiel asked. “I have --” he paused for a moment, as though unable to describe the feeling. 

Sam raised his eyebrows, waiting patiently for the angel to complete his thought.

“I have a problem. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings, but I don’t know how to put any of them into words. ‘Love’ doesn’t even accurately describe what I want to say. Each time I start writing it all comes out jumbled and I have to start over. This is my fourth pad of paper, Sam!” he concluded with urgency, “What is wrong with me?”

Sam chuckled, “Cas, are you saying you have writer’s block?” 

The angel titled his head slightly, his eyebrows furrowed. “I suppose.” He chewed on his bottom lip, and then unceremoniously plopped down into the chair across from Sam. “How do I show Dean, how do I even begin to put into human words the enormous and strong feelings of affection that I have?” Castiel mused aloud. “If only we had a better vocabulary; I find human speech so limiting. There aren’t words to explain or...” he trailed off.

“Maybe that’s the problem, Cas. Maybe you can’t tell Dean how you feel in English.”

Castiel shook his, as though about to explain something very simple to a child. “While your brother has many interesting and impressive qualities, his knowledge and command of languages is not one of them.”

Sam laughed at this. “Fair enough.”

“If I could speak to him in my real voice, if I had a larger variety of communication strategies ....”

Sam remembered Dean’s description of Castiel’s ‘real voice’ which could shatter glass and almost broke his eardrums. He sincerely hoped Castiel was not actually considering using his real voice to speak to Dean about his feelings. 

“Cas, this whole wedding is whatever you want it to be. Both of you. The fact that Dean even, well, the fact he even wants to celebrate at all and not just throw a ring on you and call it a day is a sign to how much you mean to him. So don’t worry about a few words. You two were always better at the actions and not words part anyway.”

Castiel considered this. “Your hypothesis is that the things I do for Dean, our interactions and sacrifices for each other are more important than saying the right thing tomorrow?”

Sam nodded. “Exactly.”

Castiel thought about this for a moment. “And Dean won’t mind if I say something stupid?”

Sam shook his head. “Cas, Dean is gonna be too nervous and excited to worry about what you say. It’s not like he’s gonna grade you or anything.”

Castiel nodded, thinking. He was silent for a long moment, staring into the space past Sam’s shoulder and wondering how he might be able to solve this problem. Being an angel-soldier had been so simple; being a rebellious-angel had been complicated and messy, but still driven by a mission. But could he be a good angel-husband? What could Castiel possibly do for Dean to show how much he truly cared? How could he ever replace all the things that Dean had lost over the years? 

And then an idea formed...

“Thank you Sam, that was very helpful.”

Sam looked a little confused, but smiled. “Yeah, sure Cas. Anytime.”

“I will now require your assistance. How do you feel about taking a brief trip with me?”

“Uh, ok. Where?”

“I will also need your help with the guest list.” Castiel stood, crossing around the table to stand near Sam.

“The guest list?” Sam stood as well, but was suddenly found himself nervous about where Castiel was taking him.

“Yes,” said Castiel dismissively, placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder. Suddenly the bunker was gone and Sam found himself in a brightly lit room. The topsy-turvy feeling in his stomach told him they’d flown a long way.

* * *

“Come on Sam,” Dean growled quietly into the phone, “Where are you, dammit?”

The phone continued to ring, but Sam did not answer. Getting more frustrated, Dean hung up and texted his brother for the fifth time. It was mid-afternoon and he was starting to worry. Sam had not been in the bunker when Dean had woken up that morning; there was no sign of Cas. An almost empty cup of coffee that was cold was the only clue that Sam had even been home all that day. 

Dean would not worry. He would not. 

Sam had probably gone out to get something -- a beer run? A beer run doesn’t take this long in a town of 2000 people, he reminded himself. Maybe Castiel had needed some help? Maybe he was fueling up the Impala for the drive to Lawrence? No, Baby was still in the garage. So what had happened?

D: Where the hell are you?   
D: Call me.

Dean stared at the phone, willing it to ring. He began pacing around the library, surely Sam would call back soon. What if he’s hurt? What if he got attacked by something? said a small voice in his head. Dean tried hard to silence that feeling, but a lifetime of hunting and bad timing told him that he should be worried. 

Ignoring the bitter taste in his mouth, Dean dialed Sam again. More ringing, no answer. Dean slammed his fist down on the table. 

“Son of a -”

“Dean,” said a deep voice behind him. 

Dean spun around, never before so grateful to see his angel. The words all came out very fast. “Cas, Sam is missing. Or he’s gone. But he’s been gone all day. He’s not answering --”

“Dean.” Castiel cut him off. “It’s ok. I know where Sam is.”

Relief flooded through him. “Great, where? And why isn’t he answering his damn phone?” 

“I will need your help to get him back.”

Fear immediately coursed through his blood. Get him back? Where was he? What the hell kind of trouble could he have gotten himself into the day before his brother’s wedding?

“Get him back from where, Cas? What happened to Sam?”

Castiel ignored his question. “Will you please come with me? It’s not dangerous, but I need you to be there.”

Dean shrugged. “Let’s go.”

Castiel placed his hands on Dean’s shoulders and the rush of wings and wind surrounded him.

* *

Dean looked around. They were in a dimly lit vestibule. It could have been the waiting room for a fancy ballroom or a concert hall. Sam leaned against the wall, as though expecting them.

“Sam!” Dean exclaimed. “Thank god you’re ok.” Dean whacked him lightly on the side of the head. “Answer your damn phone next time.”

“Oh, right, sorry. We’re out of signal range here, Dean.”

“We’re what? Out of ... Where the hell are we?”

Dean looked around the small room. There was nothing special about it. It was warm and the dim lighting gave it a very peaceful feeling (and a slightly morbid, you’re-about-to-walk-into-a-funeral-feeling, if Dean was being honest with himself.) There was a door next to where Sam was leaning. Dean glanced back at Castiel, hoping the angel would provide some explanation.

“Cas? What’s going on? I came with you. Sam seems ok, not sure why you needed me here -- ” He trailed off. 

Castiel placed a hand on his shoulder, a perfect fit over the handprint he’d left there so long ago.

“Dean, I’ve had a lot of trouble this week. I’ve been trying to put into words the way I feel about you. Ever since you asked me to marry you, I have been ... excited, nervous, maybe even a little scared.”

“Cas, what --” A million things suddenly ran through Dean’s mind. Was Cas having second thoughts? Was he angry at Dean? Did he think they shouldn’t be together? Was someone in heaven trying to stop their marriage?

Castiel felt Dean tense under his hand, and in a testament to how well he knew the hunter, he continued softly, “Please, don’t think those thoughts. I know you’re feeling doubts right now, but you have nothing to worry about.” He reached out his other hand to take Dean’s in his own. Dean relaxed into the touch, though his brain still demanded an explanation. His eyes met Castiel’s and the vibrant blue gaze captured him completely.

Castiel continued, “I love you Dean, more than I can put into words. More than the limited languages of humanity will allow. I have no idea what I will say tomorrow at our wedding, I cannot find away to express these feelings in coherent sentences.” He paused a moment, took a deep breath, and then continued, “I would do anything for you. I would sacrifice everything just to be by your side and have you by mine. I have died for you and I would do it again without question. I would break all the rules of heaven, hell, and earth for you.” He smiled slightly. “So I did. I broke, or perhaps bent Heaven’s rules today.”

Dean looked around again. Yes, this room did have a rather angelic and not-quite-real feeling to it. 

“Cas,” Dean said quietly, “are we in heaven?”

Castiel nodded.

“Cas got us some day passes to come up here,” Sam commented, “Before you freak out, no, neither of us is dead.”

“What are we -- ?”

Castiel motioned to Sam who opened the door. He stepped inside, gesturing with his head for Dean to follow. Cautiously, and not letting go of Castiel’s hand, Dean followed Sam into a large, and much more brightly lit room. This was definitely heaven -- the room itself seemed to continue for miles but also fade out into itself. And in the room --

Dean stopped suddenly. The group of people that stood before him smiled. This was what Cas meant by “bending all the rules”. He hadn’t just bent, he had done the one thing in his power, the one thing that only an angel could do, to show Dean how much he cared.   
The souls of Mary and John, Bobby, Ellen, Jo, and Kevin stood there. 

“Hi Dean.” Mary’s voice was soft, soothing and elated all at once. 

“Mom?” Dean felt his breath catch.

She smiled, stepping forward and wrapping her arms around him. Dean melted into the embrace. 

“I am so proud of you, sweetheart,” she said quietly. “Everything you’ve done, everything you’ve become.”

“You’re a hero, son,” said a deeper and very familiar voice beside him. Mary stepped back to let John claim the next hug. He stepped away at last, clapping Dean on the shoulder. 

“Glad to see you idjits are finally tying the knot,” Bobby chimed in. “‘bout damn time.” Dean grinned widely as Bobby got his own turn for a hug. 

Dean glanced over at Sam, who was smiling widely next to Castiel. “You did this?”

Sam shrugged. “It was Cas’s idea, I just helped with the guest list.”

Dean’s eyes moved to meet Castiel’s. “Thank you.”

Castiel nodded, never breaking the gaze.

Great, more staring, Sam thought to himself.

Dean turned back to the souls of their friends. Maybe it hadn’t been possible to save everyone, and these souls certainly held none of the anger for their death’s that Dean carried over losing them. They smiled, they congratulated him, they teased him about wedding jitters and tying the knot. His family, the part that lived in heaven now, loved him. They had never stopped loving him.

What seemed like both minutes or hours had passed before Castiel gently pulled him aside. “We have to go back soon, Dean.”

Dean nodded. He said some goodbyes, and now only Bobby, Mary and John remained. Dean stood in front of John, a question on his mind that he couldn’t ignore.

“Well?” he said quietly, “are you ok with this? I mean, this can’t be what you imagined for your son, marrying... an angel...” 

John was silent for a moment, and then finally said gently, “I’ve been watching you Dean. Ever since I got up here, I’ve wanted to protect you. When I heard you went to Hell, I wanted to offer my own soul in exchange, but it doesn’t work like that. I’ve seen you go through Hell, and Purgatory, and hell on earth. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to be loved. If Castiel gives you that, then what the hell do I care?” John pulled him into one last hug. “I am so proud to call you my son, and I wouldn’t change a thing about you.”

Dean felt a single tear roll down his face, but he refused to break the embrace to wipe it away. After a long moment John stepped back, his eyes moving to rest on Castiel who stood behind Dean.

“You take care of my son, or I’ll kick your ass,” John said in his best over-protective if-you-want-to-take-my-son-to-the-prom-you-better-have-him-home-by-midnight father voice.

Castiel nodded. “Yes, sir.” He sighed. “I am afraid we must go now, if we want to make it to the Earth wedding on time.”

Dean glanced around, “Uh, Cas, where’s Sam?”

Cas shrugged. “I already took him back so he could drive the Impala to Lawrence. I’ll take you there directly. It’s already tomorrow morning there,” he explained.

Dean looked at his parents -- all three of them -- one last time. They smiled encouragingly, claiming last hugs before disappearing. Suddenly it was just Castiel and Dean in the Heavenly room.

“Cas,” Dean started, his voice catching with emotion, “Thank you. This is the best thing you’ve ever-- I can’t --”

Castiel pulled him close, wrapping his arms tightly around Dean. “You’ll be back here someday,” he said softly into Dean’s shoulder.

“What?”

Castiel shook his head slightly. How could it be, after everything, that the beautiful soul in his arms did know his own worth? “One day you will die, Dean,” Castiel explained patiently, maintaining his hold on the hunter, “and when that day comes, I will join you up here in Heaven, if you want. Because,” he added, showing again his knowledge of the hunter’s mind, “this is where your soul belongs. There has always been a place for you here, earned again and again by every stupid brave thing you do.”

They held onto each other, the hunter and his angel, in that room in heaven as time stretched on. Dean felt content, at peace. His mind no longer carrying the burdens of the past decades of hunting. The past, the self-loathing and anger he felt, had melted away. He had a place in heaven; his soul was pure enough to come here and join Castiel for eternity. Like his parents, he would be forever with the one he loved. 

“Cas?” Dean said finally. “Let’s not be late for our own wedding.”

Castiel smiled, pulling away and keeping a hand on Dean’s shoulder. “Yes of course.”

Gesturing at the room around them, Dean said, “How am I ever going to top this? We’re not even married yet and you’re already the better husband.”

Castiel titled his head, confused. “I was not under the impression that marriages were competitive,” he said solemnly. 

Dean glared at him. “No, Cas, I meant...” He smiled slightly. “Never mind.” Dean motioned to the door. “Well, I guess there’s no place like home. Want me to click my heels three times?”

“It will neither assist in nor speed up our return to Earth,” Castiel replied seriously. 

“Really, Cas?” Dean shook his head, taking each angel’s hands in his own. Cas smiled as Dean brought their lips together in a kiss. “Can you just take us home so I can marry you already?”

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little shameless cute OTP-feels. 
> 
> (Characters of course belong to CW,no infringement intended,etc)


End file.
